Category: general

i graduated yesterday. a non-descript graduation ceremony, except for the fact that Mukesh Ambani decided to bunk it so a SN Agarwal gave us our diplomas. Parents turned up. And we went for a dosa dinner after that.

Hit the dance floor at L^2 after a 3 hour long phone conversation, which left me with very mixed emotions. feeling fairly lousy actually. as soon as i hit the floor, i put in 2 glasses of whisky with coke and was instantly high. don’t remember being so drunk before. a wills classic milds didn’t help matters.

An hour later, figured out I’m wasting away my last L^2 by getting drunk! Then started the process of trying to become sober. Two cups of tea, two cartons of Frooti and a short chat with Neha all helped. This is the best part of the whole thing. On one hand, you’re totally in control of what you’re doing, and on the other you have enough josh left in you to hit the dance floor wheneve you want without feeling awkward!

Anyways, this is the first time I’ve been through a complete L^2 party. And stayed on the dance floor most of the time. The bandana moved to my right hand, I imagined a guitar in my hands, and didn’t mind making the knee portion of my jeans dirty. Helped stay on the floor!

A mixture of emotions now. Happy I’ve graduated. Sad I’m leaving this place. Excited I’m going to start on a corporate life. Sad I won’t have those carefree student days again. Looking forward to my one month of vacation. I’ll miss a lot of my friends. And yeah, some parts of my phone conversation still rankle.

That little bit of indiscretion. The little bit of getting carried away. And then, that little bit of my foot in my mouth – I could’ve probably wriggled out of the situation, but i chose not to. Yet another relationship in limbo.

I’m all set to graduate. The convocation is scheduled for 6 pm tonight and our gowns will be handed over at 4 o clock. i just collected my “IIM Bangalore Batch of 2006” sweatshirt. however, the thing is yet to sink in. i still somehow can’t believe that I’ll be exiting IIMB so soon, and moving into the corporate world a month from now!

It’s totally different from two years ago when I got my BTech. I had bunked one day of IIMB to make the train journey to Madras. I knew that most of my friends were moving to the US for good, and it was one last chance to meet many of them. I had felt the buzz for almost the whole day. And then there was euphoria.

No such excitement now. Once again, I bunked the rehearsal. Went home in the morning for breakfast and lunch. Have done little else all of today. Parents, however, seem damn excited (it’s their first convo – they got all their degrees mailed home, and decided not to attend my IITM convo). The excitement, however, hasn’t quite percolated to me.

Anyways, I’ll get back to you people later in the evening after I’ve received my diploma. I know I’ve been quite irregular in updating of late, and it can get only worse as time goes by. I’ll be at home for the next one month, so won’t be updating much (dialup sucks). After that I’ll be starting work, and don’t know how much time I’ll have to write. However, the fact that at least one consultant I know blogs regularly gives me some hope!

Given the latest antics of the congress (the attempts to push through the ordinance, the resignation drama, et al), I seem to have lost whatever little respect I had for the party.

Thanks to the press conference I attended yesterday, I seem to have gotten some footage in the papers today. Mostly arbit.

The Hindu has written one huge article on IIMB placements (mostly numbers, straight out of the printed press briefing), and to accompany it, has put my face along with three others! Don’t know what value that picture adds. Probably the public is interested in knowing what the average IIMBian looks like! Or probably there is an aura around all our heads which people are curious to see! Or maybe the photo just adds credence to the story.

Vijaya Karnataka has also apparently done a similar thing (haven’t seen it yet; no link also). Translated the official press briefing into Kannada, embellished it with mine and three other faces, and published it. Interestingly, my parents failed to notice this though they subscribe to this paper! Got wind of this from a friend who lives outside Karnataka and has no access to this paper late in the evening!

The Dhakkan Herald has also written a story on placements. They decided that our faces add no value, but my name sounds local enough to add value! What I’ve been quoted as saying hardly makes sense, and I’m sure I didn’t say anything close to it. God, it’s so easy to get misquoted!

One side-effect of all this is that apparently the phone at home kept ringing this evening. Over the last few days, I had been careful to not give my job too much publicity in family circles. Today everyone saw my photo/name in the papers and decided to enquire. Thankfully, my parents didn’t give out my cellphone number to anyone so I was spared of doing some explanations!

And yeah, I seem to look thinner in profile than in elevation.

While I was talking to a couple of hours back, I started reflecting on the various interviews I had on “day 0”. Just for the heck of it, I’ve been trying to figure out why only one of the four companies I applied to offered me a job. Think I’ve figured it out.

Problem with me is that I’m too honest. Too truthful. Like to call a spade a spade and allow the counterparty to decide how good the spade is. Make no efforts to mask the negative aspects of the spade. Believe there’s no point bluffing my way into a job; I might end up being unsuitable for it.

Playing back the videotapes of the interviews in my mind, I seem to have projected this image of this chilled out stud. Looking back at the “cases”, I don’t think any of them would have had any problems with my problem solving skills. I handled most cases rather adeptly, and there was also stuff on my resume to show that I have good problem solving skills.

Where I “went wrong” was that I allowed them to see that I am this chilled out guy who likes to have his share of fun. I didn’t show them that I’m a “fighter”. I showed myself as a guy who’s capable of doing really well, but hasn’t actually lived up to it (unspectacular CGs). I showed myself as a guy who likes to chill (“some friends think I’m this really chilled out guy”, “If I were to change the way I lived at IIT, I would’ve probably tried to have more fun”). As I see it, they wanted to see a guy who says he’ll get married to his work and put in as many hours as required.

Anyways, I’m happy I told them the truth. I’m happy I managed to show them the person I am, rather than subjecting them to a rude shock a couple of months down the line. I’m happy I didn’t have to bluff my way into a job. I’m happy one of the four firms liked me the way I am, and wanted me to join them.

That is the magic number I take out of IIMB. Not very different from the 8.91 (out of 10) I got at IITM. Yet another unspectacular performance. Something that is above average, but not something people would exactly look up to.

This number could have been higher if I had put more fight into the more uninteresting courses. This number could have been higher had I chosen my courses more carefully – with one eye on this number. This number could have been higher had I chosen to lick profs a little more than I did. It could have been higher had I cut out all those sessions of wing cricket, of the Age of Empires, long conversations, bitching sessions.

When I walked into IIMB, I was the topper of the entrance exam. And I thought with some effort I could top here too. Mugged earnestly in 1st term. And then, from topper I started aiming for just being in the “director’s merit list”. And then my ambition changed to a “straight A” – A in all courses. And then I started aiming at a 3.4 .

A 2.7 in “managing organizations” changed all that. Summer internship in my then “chosen sector” and a 1.88 in Marketing didn’t help my cause either. Completely gave up on acads after that. A brief return to effort in 4th term was also quickly vanquished and here I am – with a very unspectacular CGPA.

Looking back, I had no regrets. Going out of IIMB, I’ve got a job in my now chosen “sector” (don’t know if consulting can be classified as a sector). I had a lot of fun in my 2 years here. Built many relationships, personal and professional. Enjoyed quite a few courses. Managed to get A in most courses I liked. A 4 on 4 in a total of five courses. Being seen as a “quant stud” (side effect of which being not too many people saw me as a consultant).

Some people saw me as a fighter. A few thought I was a freerider. Some considered me to be a stud. Others thought I’m this general guy who just cracks entrance exams. Some still think I can’t see beyond my books. Others think I’m a chilled out guy. Probably this is why I had so much trouble in answering the question “what do your friends say about you?” in the interviews four days back.

I’m so happy I came to IIMB. And now, it’s a mixed feeling of excitement and worry and nostalgia as I move out into the corporate world. My student life seems to have gotten over far quicker than I had anticipated it to.

Amen.

Have been suffering from lack of sleep for a long time now. It’s about a month since I woke up all fresh and raring to go. Last 3-4 days (after my placements), I’ve been managing 8-9 hours a day, but still I wake up with my arms and legs feeling really weak, with a slight temperature, head throbbing and wanting to get back to sleep.

For about a month now, I’ve been inexplicably being woken up really early in the morning. On some lucky days I wake up at 8, while on some others I’m up and about by 7. Considering that I sleep not before 2 AM, it’s resulting in a huge deficit.

Wondering why this is happening to me. Could it be because I put a little too much pressure on myself before placements? Could it be general fatigue? Or is it some weird health problem I’m facing? Or some psychological problem?

Whatever it is, I better sort it out before I start work on May 2nd. Can only get worse then.

Suddenly “inspired” by an arbit conversation with a friend, I happened to rummage my almost defunct yahoo mailbox and look through some old mails. a series of exchanges with her, circa early 2004.

Given the current context, it made really insightful reading. Rather short exchanges (though at times i would write really long mails). Mostly to the point, though I used to (even before i started on my MBA) put a little globe here and there. Discussed a multitude of issues. Occasional fights and misunderstandings. some things we’d told each other then we’ve told each other in the recent past.

Some things I told her then I’d never think of telling her now. Wondering what she used to think of me those days! Some things remain though. Me writing long mails. The occasional apology. Some things I told her then I still believe in.

Looking at the “collection” it looks like some mails I’ve deleted sometime. Kicking myself for that. And I remember telling her then something to the effect of “our conversations are so insightful that if one of us were to become famous, the other can publish these letters and also become famous!” Still believe so.