SK – Page 203 – Pertinent Observations

The stamp paper market

Following the Telgi scandal the Karnataka government had a great brainwave. They decided that one of the reasons duplicate stamp papers were in circulation was that stamp paper was available freely. The only remedy to this, it was decided, was to restrict sales of stamp paper. So now the street corner guy doesn’t sell the paper. Initially it was supposed to be available at a few select branches of the State Bank of Mysore. Currently, it is available in only one place in Bangalore – the head office of SBM.

A stamp paper is an extremely important and necessary document, and especially necessary if you need to transfer some stuff. Say some property or some assets or even a gas connection. And given that the number of such transactions hasn’t come down, and that people continue to die, the demand for stamp paper remains high. The supply is now restricted, and to get a stamp paper you need to stand in line for a few hours in the hot sun.

Given this situation of restricted supply, and assuming that people are not cancelling their transactions becasue of the lack of availability of the paper, I’m wondering where the paper is available. Is the only option to pay someone trusted in order to stand in line for half a day and get you the paper? Is there no better method? A semi-skilled labourer earns about Rs. 250 per day, so to make him fetch you a stamp paper that is notionally worth Rs. 20, you have to pay about Rs. 130 extra!

I’m sure there exists a black market in this. My problem is that I’m not able to find it. I’ve noticed that when the people at the counter issue the paper, they write your name and address on it. Nevertheless, i’m sure some black marketers have found a way in order to bypass this and peddle the papers. And as I mentioned, that the volume of deals hasn’t been going down implies there are more sales than what happens in that single window at the SBM office.

I’m willing to pay up to Rs. 100 each for a Karnataka government stamp paper that costs Rs. 20. Can someone direct me to the black market where these things are available? Many thanks in advance.

Why do people comment?

I was looking through some pics that a friend had uploaded on facebook. I was also looking at the comments that people had left in them. And looking through the comments, I thought apart from one sarcastic remark by me, none of the comments added any value.

So I wonder why people comment. On this blog (and its predecessor) I noticed that most people comment only if they have something specific to say, some value to add, some joke to crack. And this is the same policy that I follow too, while commenting – irrespective of where I’m commenting. Yes, once in a while I want to leave a comment just for the heck of it, but even then I take some time and compose something that I think would be interesting to the other people looking at the site, adding some marginal value.

However, when I look at comments people leave on each others’ photos on facebook, I notice that in most of them there is not even an attempt to add value. They are all of the “palli vas here” types. They are just marking attendance and letting the uploader know that the photos have been visited. That’s it.

Why am I cribbing about this? Because in the sea of useless comments the comments that I think add value get lost. Serious commentors (such as those who comment on my blogs) will get put off when they see a sea of senseless comments. And end up not commenting. And that much incremental value that this insightful comment would have been added to the page will be lost.

Dear Readers, so far you have been doing an excellent job on this blog. Most of the comments that you people leave are extremely insightful and I love reading and responding to them. Please keep the good work going. And for those of you who don’t comment regularly, if you think there is some value (however small) that you can add to the post, or the discussion, please do leave a comment. I’d love to know what you think about what I’m writing.

And you might notice that I’ve implemented Threaded Comments here on my blog. That was one feature that I’d really liked about LJ and realized that replying to comments using @ is too much of a pain. So far I see that not too many others reply to other comments (a practice that was widespread on LJ). So please do make use of this feature and contribute to the discussion. And as you might have noticed, anonymous comments are allowed so you can comment even if you don’t have a blog. Of course I ask for your email ID, so there is some handle that I have on you.

Buffet versus sit downs

During lunch today, I was talking to my mother about what would be the ideal method of serving food during functions. She has always been a major proponent for sit-down lunches with food served in courses, while I was arguing in favour of buffets.

My mother’s argument is that people won’t feel free serving themselves at a buffet. She argues that we are culturally used to being served, to being pampered by hosts, and hence we would eat better if food was brought to our table rather than if we were to go to get the food. She says that in a buffet, a number of people feel hesitant to ask for a refill and the size of the plate (after all, it needs to fit on one hand) combined with this means that most people won’t eat well.

She mentioned in passing that holding out your plate asking someone to put food on it (enjil/jhoota fundaes mean that in most buffets in India there is someone next to the food who serves you) is seen by many people as being akin to begging, and that their “honour code” means that they don’t want to be seen asking for more.

I have several other arguments in favour of buffets, but what I talked about today was that at a sit down lunch, you need to eat in a hurry. Food is served in batches, and hence it is important that everyone finishes eating in good time; good enough time so that those that couldnt get a seat in this batch aren’t kept waiting for so long. The cooks who are serving the food take responsibility of ensuring that a “batch” finishes eating in good time. Rather, they decide when the batch is supposed to end and the cleaners then come in forcing people to wind up.

My argument is that in sit down lunches, the amount you eat is directly proportional to the speed at which you eat, given that the time for each batch is fixed. This implies that if you actually want to have a good meal, you need to eat in quick time, and hence won’t be able to savour it as well as you could. And if you want to savour every morsel and eat slowly, well, you can be rest assured that you won’t have your fill.

Then there is the trade-off between dishes. In a sit down meal, items are brought in courses, and a particular item is served only when it is “in course”. The way the cooks are organized means that it’s extremely tough for them to break course and bring something that only you wanted. Or go back and forth between different courses. More importantly, when you are eating something, you don’t know what is going to follow. Actually, given certain “conventions” you sometimes have a good idea as to what might follow, but no clue regarding the quality of the thing. This point is elaborated by Ravikiran in this blog post.

So my take on sit down meals is that you sit down and mechanically wolf down whatever the cooks serve you. The only choice you have is to waste some food. You need to predict the quality of an item as it is being brought, and then get yourself served the appropriate quantity. And you also need to keep in mind the several items that haven’t been brought yet, and also predict the quality of those.

In a buffet, there are no such problems. You go once and fill your plate with a bit of everything. Then you know what you like. And go again to get more of that. You can eat at your own pace, for there is no one waiting to grab your seat. You can savour every morsel as you ingest it. You even get to choose the order in which you can have the stuff. The only flip side is that each time you want something you might have to stand in a line. However, if the hosts have estimated the numbers and planned well, this too gets eliminated.

So what is your preference? What do you think makes more sense for a largish gathering? Please leave your comments here.

Washing your arse in the Thames

A popular idiom in Kannada is “Thamesnalli tika toLko” which translates to “wash your arse in the Thames”. This phrase, in its various forms, is used to refer to people who try to act westernized. People who are sometimes called “pseud” as short form for “pseudo american” in certain dialects. I think even the word “peter” (in the non-quizzing sense) can be considered to be a synonym of this phrase.

My biggest crib with this idiom is that it’s technically incorrect. Basically, no one washes their arse in the Thames. In fact, in areas around the Thames, people don’t wash their arse at all, except maybe during bath. Extending this argument, one of the traits which enables you to be described as “thamesnalli tika toLko” is using toilet paper – which implies that you don’t wash your arse, thus turning the description into a contradiction in itself.

I wonder how this phrase originated. I think it is clear to assume that the phrase was invented by people who usually wash their arses after crapping, rather than wiping it. Could it be because these people assumes that, like them, everyone washes their arse? Or is the kind of water that one uses to wash one’s arse an indicator of one’s “type”, “jaati“, “category”, “level” and all that? In that case why doesn’t one come across an idiom such as “washing your arse with Bisleri” or some such thing?

The other explanation I have is that this is indeed an extremely sophisticated idiom. The argument is that real Westerners don’t wash their arses at all. The idiom refers to people who are actually Indian (Kannadiga to be precise) but who try to act as if they are firang. So even if they go to London, and speak only English and all that – that they are actually desi implies that they wash their arses and not wipe it. So the only people who would have actually washed their arses with Thames water will be these types.

Of course, if this theory is true, it is not valid any more, for usage of toilet paper in India has grown leaps and bounds in the last few years. And you have a number of people who are otherwise extremely Indian who only wipe their arses, not wash them.

What do you think of this idiom? Why do you think this originated? Is it still valid? If not, what would you suggest as an alternative? Or we to discourage idioms such as these? Please share your thoughts.

(Disclosure: I have indeed washed my arse in the Thames. Not directly of course (I mean I’ve never squatted and relieved myself on the banks of the river), but I’ve washed my arse with water which I believe originated the river. Don’t ask me how I managed this in England where most loos don’t have a source of water in the loos. And I don’t think I figuratively qualify to have washed my arse in the Thames)

Superstitions and one way implication

India seems to have had a rich history when it comes to mathematics. Our ancestors are supposed to have done great things such as inventing the numeral system that we used today. However, I’m not sure how good we have been at logic. I’m not talking about anything advanced here. I’m thinking of basic stuff such as one way implications.

What is common to the following superstitions/customs?

You should never shave your head unless you are offering the hair to God
You should never light a fire in front of your house
You should never throw around vessels on the floor

The list goes on but I can’t remember anything else right now. However, I can assure you that there are several more of these. This is definitely not an exhaustive list, but it is most likely an exhausting list.

What connects all these is the fact that they are associated with death. You are supposed to shave your head when a parent dies. Similarly a fire is lit in front of the house when someone dies. And throwing around vessels is part of the death ceremonies.

What has happened is that all these one way implications have been misunderstood down the generations and have turned into two way implications. The rule states “if someone in the house dies, you light a fire in front of it”. And down a few dozen logically illiterate generations, it has been understood as “you light a fire in front of a house if and only if someone who lives there dies”. Note that suddenly, a one way implication has become a two way implication! Similarly with shaving your head and throwing around vessels. And with the rest of the exhausting list that I can’t remember at this point of time.

So the next time someone rebukes you regarding one of these stupid customs that are supposed to be “associated with death”, while they are only associated in one direction, tell them that they are saying this because they and their ancestors couldn’t understand simple logic.

assignments and studs and fighters and algorithms

For some reason, today I happened to look back at some of my old IIT textbooks, and happened to see this book by Cormen, Leiserson and Rivest on algorithms. I was reminded of the algorithms course at IITM. The prof had just finished his term as HoD and much relieved as he was, he put a lot of enthu into the first half of the course. Every class would start with a “thought for the day” which would be related to what we were going to do. Then, the classes were extremely well structured and there was a regular assignment schedule also.

We were divided into groups of four, and each assignment used to have a “part A” and a “part B”, which carried equal weightage. The former was common to all groups, and would have fairly straightforward stuff – minor variants of what we discussed in class, etc. There would be several problems, and it was frankly a bit of a pain.

Part B gave a separate problem for each group, and this would be usually non-straightforward and required some bit of thinking. There was a good chance that the group never solved it at all, while on the other hand, at times it would hardly take time.

Looking back, I think in more than half the assignments, I ended up doing part B. The problems used to be fairly interesting, and I’d somehow end up solving them before the group even met to discuss the work. And given that all that was required to solve the problem was a moment of inspiration, the process of solving them were, in hindsight, interesting.

One problem was solved when I had taken one hostelmate’s new Bajaj Eliminator for a test ride. Another got solved when I was playing table tennis. Yet another while I was perched on the parapet reading the newspaper.

I also remember this particular incident. In the first assignment, we managed to find a fairly simple and intuitive solution to our part B problem. Now, two guys in my group were topper-types and fighter, and writing a simple and intuitive proof was against their ethos. They said that it would mean that we hadn’t shown much effort, and might result in our getting lesser marks. They finally put enough effort to convert the four line proof into some kind of formal mathematical notation which took four pages. I don’t know if anyone bothered to read that.

Holiday after the blasts

The funniest thing this afternoon following the bomb blasts in Bangalore was the decision by all software companies in the Hosur Road area to declare a holiday for the rest of the day. Here are a few reasons why I thought that’s an awful idea:

First of all, after the blasts, the police would’ve cordoned off the affected areas and the traffic situation will already be bad in these areas. Now, with busloads of these guys pouring in on the already bad traffic, you can rest assured things can’t get better soon. At least in terms of the traffic
If employees are in office, assuming that office complexes haven’t been targeted, they are relatively safer. Definitely much safer than being out there on the road stuck in a traffic jam.
(my mom came up with this one) If they are in office, then they have access to food and drink, so they can easily wait it out till the situation defuses and then get home. If you are caught in a jam, jai only will happen, for you don’t even know how long it will take.

If you can add any more points to this list, please leave a comment. And yes, I know you will point out that the office declaring a holiday gives an option for employees to leave whenever they want to rather than staying on till close of play. However, given that most IT types travel to work in office buses, they don’t have much of an option. Office closed means computer closed and into bus and getting ready for traffic jam.

Being a non-descript quizzer

All regular quizzers, I know, will be able to recognize me if they see me. But what if I’ve to call up one of them on the phone and tell them who I am? I’m not sure too many people in the quizzing circles know me by name. Even if they do, there are several Karthiks wherever you go. I don’t think too many quizzers even know me as Wimpy/SKimpy.

The basic thing is there is no “handle” that I can use to describe myself in the quizzing circles. I’m generally low-profile when seen from outside my team. I’m not my usual mad self during quizzes. I’ve never answered a question so spectacular that everyone knows you by that one answer. The last time I did a quiz was over two and a half years ago. And I haven’t usually had very spectacular or high-profile teammates. Not on a regular basis at least.

Due to perennial time constraints and assumptions that everyone knows everyone else, the “introduction” part of quizzes has been mostly done away with. Even when it is there I say stuff like “I am War” or some such random thing – though not random enough for everyone to take note. In effect, I’m what can be described as a “non-descript” quizzer.

Now I begin to wonder whether I face this problem because I overestimate my own long-term memory, and thus, underestimate everyone else’s long term memory and assume that people don’t know me. Nevertheless the question remains as to what I can do to overcome this nondescriptness (don’t ask me to start dancing at the next quiz) and how I can communicate to people who have only seen me as to who I am.

Reminder: Fourth Bangalore Photo Walk

Just to remind you people that the fourth Bangalore photo walk will happen this Sunday (27th July). Details here.

To give you a quick summary,

Date: 27th July, 2008
Starting time: 8 am
Starting point: Alankar Plaza, Kempe Gowda Road, Gandhinagar, Bangalore 560009
Ending time: Approximately 10:30 am
Ending point: Malleswaram Circle

Shande, one of our more regular photowalkers, will be leading this walk since I may have to leave early. Once again, please leave a comment here in case you are interested in attending. And please let your friends also know.

Life expectancy and age of thread ceremony

Over ten years back, my mother had asked my father when they were going to conduct my thread ceremony. My father had replied, “You think either of us will die soon?” My thread ceremony eventually took place in May 2001, some five years after this conversation.

You frequently come across mostly elderly relatives lamenting the fact that youngsters nowadays don’t have much interest in religion, and parents are also not doing their bit. They crib that earlier, most boys would have their threads by the time they had reached double digits, and this would ensure a more religious upbringing. However, nowadays, with thread ceremony being delayed up to the twenties, and even up to the day before the wedding (for people belonging to castes that wear the thread, the thread is a prerequisite for marriage), the elders feel that this is preventing kids from being more religious.

I’m not sure if the increase in average age has to do anything with how religious the parents are. It’s simply a consequence of higher life expectancy. If you are a boy belonging to a caste that normally wears the thread, you need to have had your thread ceremonies in order to conduct your parents’ death ceremonies. If you don’t have the thread yet at the time when one of your parents dies, some other relative has to do this thing, and you are supposed to get bad karma from this.

Hence, even fifty years ago, when average life expectancy was quite low and it was reasonably common for people to tell jai when their kids were still young, people would want to make sure that there was a good chance that their sons had a thread by the time the parents told jai. And hence, the thread ceremony would happen fairly quickly after the kid had attained the minimum age of 8.

Nowadays, with people living longer on the average, and the probability of someone dying leaving behind a young kid being fairly low, there isn’t much incentive to have the thread ceremony really early. People prefer to wait until their sons are old enough to understand the significance of the thread, the ceremony, etc.