last minute ditch

My cousin’s friend was supposed to get married tomorrow. It was an “arranged marriage”, and in true KT (kannada types) tradition, the groom was a relative of the bride.

Now, yesterday, someone tells us that the marriage has been called off. Abruptly. From the groom’s side. Three days before the wedding. This, after a grand engagement, and the bride and groom “seeing each other” for a few months. Called off. Abruptly. “No thank you, we are not interested. Cancel! Cancel!! And we won’t even pay cancellation charge!”

The bride is supposed to have fainted. Her parents have the tough task of calling up all invitees and informing them that it’s not happening. And might incur major monetary losses in terms of advances paid to the wedding planners, etc. And it is supposed to be a “shame” and “level down” and all such.

Now, with the groom’s family being as wicked as they are, I think it is a good thing that it got called off so quickly. So much better than actually getting married and then finding out the groom and his family’s true colors. Yes, losses have happened, both monetarily and emotionally. However, a cancelled potential bad marriage is a thousand times better than a divorce.

They say that the girl’s “value” in the “market” would have gone down now, since she was once engaged. Wouldn’t it have gone down further if she were a divorcee? At least in this case she has emerged “unscathed”. They point to all the losses in advances and say “so much money down the drain”. Wouldn’t more money have had the wedding gone through? I’m not sure but there might have been some dowry also involved. That, at least, is saved now.

It is definitely a good thing to have happened. At least the groom and his family had the sense to stop it just before marriage, rather than to actually get married and then harass the girl. The mistake was initially the investment bankers’ (read parents) for getting into an unviable deal and it is good that it is all over before much damage was done. ?


My cousin found out the reason for the sudden ditching. The woomaan works for a BPO, where a co-worker has been pestering to marry him for a while. She doesn’t like the guy so she been quite cold to him. The guy, spurned, now calls up the woomaan’s fiance and tells him that the woomaan has been having a long and physical affair with a co-worker at the BPO. And the groom and his family get upset that the woomaan is not “chaste” and decide to ditch her.

Absolutely ridiculous stuff. You reject a woman because of ONE unconfirmed report from a not necessarily trusted third party! Bah!

In related issues, mom tells me this is the reason she doesn’t want me to flirt. “By flirting, you are only spoiling your friend’s ‘character’ and ‘market value'”, she says. “you guys have fun. the girl has to take the brunt in the end. our society is like that”

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