I’m feeling lonely. Terribly lonely. While that is not an unusual feeling, the circumstances make it really unusual.
I’m in Bangalore. In the house that I grew up in. Living with my mom. Left work at 4 this evening (after a really are not day).
I had got this feeling a number of times when I was at IIT, in London and in Bombay, and each time i had dismissed it saying that it was because i was away from “home”. At IIT, I would just go park myself at the Patisserie, and good conversation would usually follow. At London, I went for long lonely walks along random roads. In Bombay, took the train to South Bombay and walked along Marine Drive.
Somehow despite being AT HOME, no solutions! Nothing. Tried an old favorite of just wandering around the Jayanagar Shopping Complex. To no avail. Relief seemed to occur in bursts but the emptiness of the whole place (it? was 2130) just put me off. Didn’t get too many ideas so just returned home!
I’ve stopped watching TV. I don’t have any movies. I don’t read fiction, and whatever I have with me now is too heavy for the occasion. So here I am, cribbing! Wonderful right??