Death

My maternal grandmother passed away early this morning. Had been suffering for a long time from a multitude of illnesses. Hence it didn’t come through as a shocker. In some sense it was a kind of relief that her suffering has been put to an end. May her soul rest in peace.

Would like to put down some thoughts that kept going round my head earlier this morning. It is a slightly impersonal view and you people might think i’m heartless and stuff. However, the fact that it wasn’t that much of a shock meant that I could observe stuff clearly. And there were thousands of stuff I could write about. And this is only a summary of my thoughts earlier this morning.

Granny lived with my mom’s eldest sister (who’s unmarried) and a housekeeper. Death happened around 1:30 am. Aunt called up my uncle who lives nearby. He quickly arrived, saw granny had passed out and went to the nearby Ramakrishna Hospital. Asked for a doctor to come and confirm the death. A thousand bureaucratic hassles followed. They cribbed big time. Finally sent a nurse in an ambulance to the house (which is bang next door to the hospital). Who confirmed the death. And charged Rs. 500. And refused to issue death certi.

Me went there at 2 am. Then went off to an aunt’s house nearby to crash. Went back at 8. The place was swarming with people. Hundreds had come to offer their condolences. Including very distant relatives. And a fire had been lit in front of the house. People were crying all round. Some were philosophising. Others just talked about the recent ganguly-chappel spat.

Found myself in an awkward situation. 16 hours of Floyd a day means i’m perennially high and always smiling. Found it tough to put a woresht look on my face which everyone else had done. Was pretty embarrassing actually. My granny, who i had lived with for a large part of my life had passed away. Relatives from far and near had come and had broken into tears. Worst case they looked pretty hassled and upset. And there i am, with a “normal” look on my face talking to people as if nothing has happened!

Then, the ceremonies happened. Granny had “booked her own funeral in advance” some time back. One phone call and people from this funeral service came armed with a hearse van, a priest, puja equipment and what not. They had even booked a slot at the crematorium. I hear that even the ceremonial rites which will go on for the next 13 days have been arranged for!

The corpse was brought to the courtyard (an uncle remarked how till a minute before death the person is referred to by name and then immediately after he/she becomes “the corpse”. he talked about some soul level stuff…). We had to pour rice on granny’s mouth and then go touch her feet. But it was a little spooky so i just did a namaste instead of touching her feet.

Then there is this woresht funda that you shouldn’t eat/drink anything between the time you come to know of the death and you’ve seen the corpse and then had a bath. Me got slightly screwed as my head was throbbing as i gulped down some bananas as soon as i got out of bath at 1 pm. Dad was in a much worse state. He broke fast only at 3 pm as he’d accompanied the corpse to the crematorium and he’s diabetic and has recently had a surgery. dunno how he did it. the lengths to which people go to appease society!

Then there’s the funda that when people who accompanied the corpse return from the crematorium, no one is supposed to SEE THEM until they’ve had a bath. VERY SHADY. and i questioned it and got a pasting from mom (who has been pretty upset). And no food is supposed to be cooked at home. After i had my bath, i went to a restaurant which sells wholesale meals and brought stuff for the people.

The superstitions seem very arbit and laughable. But i’m not allowed to question it. I’m sure they had SOME funda behind them when they were framed ages ago. Sad part is they haven’t changed with advances in technology. I think that is a fundamental problem with many people in India today. and also in the past.

We had a glorius ancient history. But our people in the medieval age refused to adapt themselves to the changing world. And got left behind, forever. Even now, many laws refer to acts passed way back in the 1800s! Yet another instance of inertia. Really pissing off.

Another fundamental problem with many people here is that you are not allowed to ask questions. Generations have been brought up on a diet of suppression and conformity. No wonder most of our industry today relies on being “techno-coolies” rather than being at the frontiers of technology and innovation! Which reminds me, I was supposed to attend a conference on Innovations and patents in India. Couldn’t go because of this unfortunate event.

Then this thing about “you should always respect elders and listen to them, no matter how stupid they are.” Yet another cultural issue which hinders progress.

reservation fundaes…

Spent the last couple of hours teaching math to a friend of mine. He entered IIMB through a reserved quota last year. Did extremely badly and flunked the first year. If he doesn’t do well this time round, he’s been told he’ll be asked to leave.

During the course of my teaching, I figured out that his level of understanding is much lower than most other people I have encountered. The way I had to teach today was totally different from the style I adopt during the tutorials I take. I had to literally hand-hold him as I took him through one of the not-so-tough parts of probability theory.

Having finished teaching him, I am forced to raise this fundamental question as to whether we are overdoing reservations in the premier institutes. Many candidates who enter through the reserved quota end up doing pretty well (in fact this year one such guy, a good friend of mine, narrowly missed out on the coveted Director’s Merit List which is awarded to the top 10 performers in the batch) but there are also many who end up doing really badly.

Some of them take three years to finish the course. Some of them are forced to drop out. Some manage to finish the course but it’s a nightmare for the placement committee to place them at the end of the course (yeah the last bit happens with some general category people also but the incidence is much less among them).

There’s this other incident I would like to quote here. A girl wrote the JEE one year before me. Didn’t do well enough to get in but was offered the “Preparatory Course”. At the end of the course, she was found not to have done well enough to continue to the main program and was asked to leave. She raised a hue and cry, moved court, moved the National Commission for SC/STs and managed to get in (as my batchmate). I have heard from my friends and juniors that she’s unlikely to leave IIT with a degree.

Are we raising false hopes for these “weaker sections” by reserving too many seats for them? Would we be better off taking only those candidates from the “weaker sections” who are reasonably good and are likely to successfully complete the course and not keep taking just to fill a quota?

The guy whom I taught today has already spent a year and a quarter and 2 lakh rupees for his education at IIMB. And he seemed to give an indication that he’s not doing too well this time round also and is likely to quit sooner or later. And he had a software job before he joined IIMB. Now, as an “IIMB dropout”, it would be tough for him to find a job. Wasn’t he better off still working in that software firm?

Important questions to be answered but i bet that in the name of populism, vote banks, etc. these quotas will only increase and more people’s life will get ruined this way.

changes in myself….

of late i’ve become highly individualistic, arrogant, self-centered, short-tempered, etc. Just the way i was in late 12th standard or when i just entered IIT.

and as of now, i’m yet to experiences the repercussions of being this way (i’ve been like this for the last 6 months). and i’m pretty much enjoying life. and i’m also confident about myself (almost bordering on overconfidence) – confidence was something i sorely lacked during the last 3.5 years of life at IIT when i tried to be a “good boy”.

peace!

i didn’t resign…

i didn’t resign as i had planned. instead i decided to back out of that particular project only. here’s what i sent:


i’m neither motivated about the forex game nor am i confident of doing a good job of it.

under these circumstances it would be silly to promise to deliver this to someone.

hence i would prefer NOT to do this game.

i’ve taken this decision after prolonged thought and considering multiple points of view.

and i’m not open to any further negotiations on this.

Feeling totally at peace with myself now…

more club issues…

part of this finance club in IIMB. there’s a huge looming opportunity coming up in the way of a mega online game our Forum for Industrial Interaction (people who organize Vista, the bizfest) have offered us.

Sad part is i’m the guy in the team who will have to do the work connected to that if we are doing it. and i DON’T want to do it. and everyone else thinks it’s a “wonderful opportunity” and want to do it. anyone in their positions will – they aren’t going to put too much effort into it anyway. and they are VOLUNTEERING ME to do the work…

have gotten my resignation letter ready… will be sending that off now…

paper!

wrote a paper for Vista, the IIMB BizFest. Couldn’t imagine that such fraud jobs can also qualify as “papers”. It wasn’t even a neat copy-paste job. read up a couple of websites on a topic, made up a fraud “lever model”, applied it to the topic, wrote about whatz wrong with the topic… and gave a list of “just like that” recomendations…

halfway through the paper, i felt really pathetic about it and suggested we not send the paper. however, my partner said that we wouldn’t lose anything by sending and since we had already put in that much effort we might as well send it across…

still can’t stop laughing about it… and i’m definitely not going to wait for the results!

prof

as i sit and think about my career choices, i suddenly have this feeling i want to become a prof. in something like economics or public policy. at one of the top institutes in India (IIT,IIM, types). i enjoy teaching, i enjoy research in stuff like this, if i’m a prof people will LISTEN to me, i’ll have the opportunity of interacting wiht some of the best people in india.

guess after my MBA i’ll work for 3-4 years (my mom says 2), then go for a PhD and come back and bcome a prof.

those of you who’re into research/teaching please tell me the cons of such a career. money is not an issue. i don’t mind not getting extremely high salaries as long as i get enough to keep me and my family happy.

feeling like a ganguly…

yet another quiz today where we missed qualification by one point.

me kinda feel that i’m not as good a quizzer as i used to be. maybe the last time i played a really major role in my team’s victory was at least three years ago (talking of conventional quizzes). i still think i’m pretty good in formats such as the University Challenge but it unfortunately wasn’t held this year :((

used to be a strike bowler around four years ago. used to singlehandedly win quizzes. managed to get a pretty good partner. settled down into a lethal combo together. then in 2003, we got a pretty good third guy, who seemed to be so good he started opening the bowling and i settled down into a good third bowler.

moving to IIMB got me introduced to a few more great quizzers. and with KQA quizzes being 4 a side, i’ve comfortably settled as a FOURTH BOWLER. i’m the Kasprowicz to my team which is McGrath, Gillespie, Lee. I’m the Hoggard (who gets wickets only when the ball swings wildly) to my team which is Harmison, Flintoff and Jones.

And considering my current form (and using the bowling analogy) i’m like Sourav Ganguly to my team that is Dravid, Tendulkar and Sehwag! Not a very comforting thought!! banking upon history and ancient records (and good performances in intra-college quizzes) to keep my place in the team.

sumo, yet so far.

the new JEE pattern

After 30-odd years of “successful conduct”, the fundamental JEE patterns are being revised. People have gone on protest everywhere in the country; “factories” are crying foul; and i’m pretty sure the larger community in IIT is also claiming blasphemy – saying that the “quality” of the exam is falling further.

The director of IITM, MS Ananth, has gone on record saying that the only people this decision will adversely affect are the coaching centers (“factories” that manufacture IITians). The other group that i would find affected by the new system is the set of people who rely purely on the factories to get into IIT.

IIT JEE was initially intended to be an exam which would identify the brightest of the bright students in the country. These could be trained to become top-class engineers who could contribute to the development of the world. The examinations were designed such that each question was new and there was no way anyone would have done them in advance, thus putting everyone on an equal ground and testing only the concepts and sharpness.

However, slowly (and sadly) this exam has become “muggable”. There is only a certain degree to which one can design new problems in the given syllabus and coaching institutes have mushroomed in different parts of the country where the students are rigorously made to go through thousands of such problems several times. The training imparted is such that by the time of the JEE, any problem that will appear in the paper would have been “seen” by the candidate and just like our board exams, it has become an indicator of how well one can remember the solution!

There are two factors which go into making a student successful ? raw brilliance and hard work. While the former is a natural thing and is influenced by early life, the latter can be inculcated at any point of time in life. Hence, if the IITs want the ?best? students in the country, they should rather be looking for ?brilliant? people rather than ?hardworking? people. By making the course more rigorous and assignment oriented, hard work can be easily inculcated into the students (?brilliant? students would definitely have the ability to work hard but may not have the willingness). However, over the last few years the JEE has laid more stress on the hard work aspect rather than on brilliance.

Given all these above factors, the IITs have indeed taken a step forward by adopting new procedures for conduct of the examination. As for critics of multiple choice exams who say that it can be a lottery, suitable negative marking can ensure that only people who genuinely attempt are successful. Also, an objective exam would test the speed of the candidate, which is sometimes an indicator of the ?raw brilliance?. And critics must note that any evaluation based on a single examination is a lottery and hence there is no increased randomness being introduced by the new format.

Other criticisms for this new format would be that coaching institutes were helping many students from rural areas and backward classes get through and that their reduced influence may bias the exam towards urban candidates who have had the luxury of good schooling. It may also be argued that many people could earlier hope to make up for their natural talent by sheer hard work and the new pattern defeats the hopes of such people.

In response to these, it must be argued that the IITs are elitist institutions where merit is the only criterion to be looked at. The IITs haven?t been set up in order to promote equity. They are meant to be for the best people and only the best should deserve to get in. The new pattern also helps people from disadvantaged sections of society who may not be able to afford the expensive coaching classes.

There are also the issues of minimum qualification marks in the boards and restriction on the number of attempts. As for the restriction on the number of attempts, it must be argued that people who prepared for JEE longer got an ?unfair advantage? over people with lesser years of preparation. This again comes to the point of brilliant versus hardworking students. Two seems to be a fair number because it is very unlikely that a student is ?unlucky? twice over and even if he/she is, it could also mean that he/she is unable to handle pressure.

There have been protests all over the country regarding these new rules. Initially all of them were applicable effective from 2006. However, the IITs have been right in allowing people with less than 60% marks or those in multiple attempts to write the exam in 2006, given that these people have already invested since some of them have given up another year of their career preparing for this exam.

An issue where I would like to differ from the IITs? views is the point that the system will be reviewed after 2006. I believe that it takes some time for any system to show its true colors and hence the government should study the new system for at least 3-4 years before they decide to revise it.

In conclusion, the decision by the IITs about revising the JEE pattern is a positive one and would ensure better quality of students in the IITs. Apart from this, it would decrease the pressure on the students and also make the logistics of conducting the JEE (in terms of corrections) easier and bring in greater objectivity. If the implementation (in terms of quality of question papers) is also good, it will ensure that brilliance is the only criterion for entry.

design issues…

Vista is happening end of next month. As part of the team incharge of finance events, i’ve been asked to conduct a particular game at an all india level which was played at college level last year.

just found out that our mahaanubhaava seniors have made such a bad design that it’s simply not scalable… it’s really pissing off (as a comp sci engineer) when i see really badly designed software which isn’t scalable/portable.

had a similar experience last month with an internal trading game we organized. i was asked to “take over” the game halfway thru. found out that hte s/w was so badly designed that despite extensive programming there was a large degree of manual work left. really pissed me off.

and when i chided the programmers and designers about the bad design, they said, “three of us have spent the entire weekend (around 40 man hours) designing and programming this. how can you say we haven’t done our job properly?” had a little fight after that and i handed control back to them.

another pet peeve – people measuring their performance by the amount of effort (typically measured in man-hours) put in! They refuse to believe that people can be smart (perhaps because they themselves aren’t so) and can do more work in less time than them… (in this context i like the new JEE format, but i’ll reserve that for another post).