Dear ________ (once again I don’t know your name)
I know I need to improve my social skills. It’s been almost two years since I saw someone who I thought I should put blade on. It had been ages since I saw a woman who I couldn’t take my eyes off. And I just let it go. I had a clear half hour window. And I spent it merely trying to establish eye contact, in vain.
It was in the BTS bus this evening. Volvo bus number 500K. Going from ITPL to Vijayanagar. It was around 530 when you got in at either Devarabisanahalli or Bellandur. And five minutes short of six o’clock when you, much to my disappointment, got off at BTM water tank (i’ll explain the source of disappointment presently).
I had diligently finished the first 11 pages of today’s Business Standard by the time you stepped in. And had plans to finish the next two pages – the editorials and op-eds – by the time I got off at East End. I couldn’t get started on the first op-ed. The weird sense of morality that my mom has drilled into me didn’t allow me to be too explicit, but most of the next half hour was spent looking at you, and hoping that the guy next to me would get off so that you could take his seat.
I was sitting in the first row behind the back door, to the extreme right. I was in what my mom described as “Aiyappa clothes” – black t-shirt and black jeans. And had a pink paper in my hand (ok if you don’t know that the Business Standard is pink, I don’t love you anymore). In front of me was this large empty standing space and I was constantly egging you on to come occupy it. Maybe I’d find some intelligent line to start off then? Unfortunately you preferred to stand in the crowded front part of the bus, between those firangs. Only solace was that you later found a “backward-facing seat”, so you sat directly facing me, some four meters away, just out of earshot so I couldn’t figure out what language you were speaking when you were on the phone. To paraphrase some lyrics, your lips moved but I couldn’t hear what you were saying.
I know you might be getting pained reading this. The size of the paragraphs have been increasing monotonically. Hence this one-line paragraph to break the monotony. Damn. It’s already two lines long. One and a half rather. No, it’s two.
Now that we have broken the monotony. I seriously didn’t know what to do in the bus. It wouldn’t have been especially present to have come up to you and start chatting up, especially we were seated four meters away initially. I kept hoping you’d help me establish eye contact and that just didn’t happen. And when you got down at the BTM water tank. Oh wait I owe you an explanation.
On the 500K route, there is a discontinuity about the probability of your being a local rather than an “IT types”. The probability shoots up at Bannerghatta road – the west side being more likely to be local. So it was a bit of a disappointment, I must say, when you got off just before the discontinuity. Of course, I could’ve gotten off after you – though it was a kilometer before where i was supposed to get off – and run after you and introduced myself and asked for your number.
However, what are the odds that that would’ve succeeded? In full public view that too? Don’t you agree that the probability of that clicking is significantly lesser than that of you looking at this blog post? Yes, for a moment I thought otherwise and shifted in my seat. Then, decided that the returns weren’t commensurate with the risks. So here I am. Writing an open letter to you. On my blog. And hoping that you read it. And if you do read it, reach out to me by email. skthewimp AT yahoo DOT com
To my readers
- I know i’ve been through this kind of stuff before. Yet another long shot.
- Is there a way in which one can figure out which language a person is speaking by just observing his/her lips? Especially since I know just 3 languages… and can understand 2 more
- Yes, I need more coaching on social skills. Experiences such as this are depressing, given that it’s not too often I see people who I think are really beautiful and “look my types”
- And yeah, if i’ve to hit on you, and you live in Bangalore, i’d prefer it if you are a local rather than “one of those IT types”. I’d definitely prefer it if you didn’t have anything to do with IT