For most of the first half of last year, I used to turn to her whenever I was depressed. She was a great listener, used to patiently hear me out, suggest steps for further action, and by the time I hung up the phone I would actually be feeling great. And the feeling was mutual – she would turn to me in similar situations.
Yesterday (as is my habit), I was feeling really low, and as luck would have it she came online on GTalk. After much deliberation I pinged her and we quickly settled into a good conversation. As luck would have it, soon enough I had pissed her off enough to say “you really put me off!” and she chose not to continue the conversation then onwards.
What followed was this strange feeling of joy. Joy that I had pissed her off! Joy that I had pissed her off and didn’t have to apologize. This time last year also she would get easily pissed and many rupees of Airtel bills were spent apologizing to her. And here I am, pissing her off for the very same things, and I didn’t have to apologize! Soon enough my depression had all but disappeared and normal life resumed.
Wonder what make me so happy that I had pissed her off. Am I that sadistic? I don’t really think so. Well, she hasn’t exactly been nice to me of late. In fact I thought there was a period when she was really nasty to me. Was this my little way of extracting revenge for that? Or was this simply the joy of freedom – the freedom of saying certain things and not having to apologize for it anymore?
Nevertheless, last year talking to her would bring me out of depression. Same is the case this year, but for a totally different reason. Such is life! (wondering how many blogposts i’ve ended with this phrase!)